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½ÃÀÛÇÑ´Ù

 

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°¡Áö°í Àü±¹ Åõ¾î ÁßÀÌÁÒ"

 

"½Å³ª°Ô ´Þ·Á¶ó, ÃÖ°í ¼Óµµ ¿Ã·Á¶ó

 

"½Å³ª°Ô ´Þ·Á¶ó, ¹ø°³Ã³·³ ´Þ·Á¶ó"

 

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¿©±â°¡ ¹«½¼ Ä«¹Ù·¹ÀÎ ÁÙ ¾Ë¾Æ?

 

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½ºÅ×ÀÌÆ° ´ëÅë·ÉÀº

 

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±×·³ ½Å¹®À» ¸ÕÀú º¼±î

 

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³ªÁß¿¡ ¹Ù²ÙÀÚ°í

 

"±×¸®°í Àü Áß¿äÇÑ ¿ªÇÒÀ» ¸Ã¾Æ
ÃÖ¼±À» ´ÙÇϰí ÀÖÁÒ"

 

ȯ¿µÇÕ´Ï´Ù!

 

'¾Æ¸Þ¸®Ä­ µå¸²Áî' ÀÇ »õ ½ÃÁð¿¡
¿ÍÁֽŠ°É ȯ¿µÇÕ´Ï´Ù

 

ÁøÇàÀ» ¸Ã°Ô µÇ¾î ¾ÆÁÖ ±â»Ú°í¿ä
Àú¿¡°Õ ²ÞÀÌ ½ÇÇöµÈ °Å³ª ¸¶Âù°¡ÁöÁÒ

 

ÀÌ ½ÃÁðÀ» ¿ì¸® ¸ðµÎ¿¡°Ô
¸Å¿ì Ưº°Çß´ø ºÐ¿¡°Ô ¹ÙÄ¡°íÀÚ ÇÕ´Ï´Ù

 

°í ¸¶Æ¾ Æ®À§µå ¾¾ÁÒ

 

¿ì¸® ¸ðµÎ ´ç½ÅÀ» ±×¸®¿öÇϰí ÀÖ¾î¿ä

 

ÀÌÁ¦ ½º¸± ³ÑÄ¡´Â »õ ½ÃÁðÀÌ
½ÃÀ۵Ǿú½À´Ï´Ù!

 

¿©·¯ºÐ¿¡°Ô Âü°¡ÀÚµéÀ» ¼Ò°³ÇÕ´Ï´Ù!

 

Korean

 

(SCREAMING)

 

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

 

It was always Sally's idea to perform,
not mine,

 

I mean, she's been wanting to do this
since she was six months old,

 

Sing!

 

She did it before, She's just shy,
Come on, honey, Sing!

 

MARTIN: The last remaining business
on Main Street

 

is Harry's Hangdown Bar and Grill

 

where Sally works as a part-time waitress,

 

The Hangdown is a home away from home

 

for the largely unemployed male population
of Padookie,

 

(ALL CHEERING)

 

MAN: Come on! Yeah!

 

MARTIN: Sally's high-school sweetheart
is a decorated war veteran,

 

a real American hero,

 

And halfway across America,
hailing from halfway around the world,

 

Omer Obeidi lives with his cousins,
the Riza Family,

 

A refugee from the mayhem
of the Middle East,

 

I cannot believe my good fortune
to be competing on the show,

 

This is truly an American dream come true,

 

(WHISPERING) Now,

 

Now,

 

America, you will be Omerized,

 

MARTIN: Like any American kid,
Omer likes to hang out at the mall

 

where his posse all know him,

 

Omer, American Dreamz, baby!

 

Yo, Big O!
I like your style,

 

O-mizzer! That's my dawg right there!

 

Keep it real, man! Remember that,
Keep it real,

 

There may not be peace in the Middle East,
but there is Middle East in this piece,

 

as we visit cantor Sholem Glickstein,
recent Israeli immigrant,

 

I wish Omer luck,

 

I wish all of the contestants luck,
because I'm coming for them,

 

Do you hear that?

 

Do you hear that? I am coming
for you, bitches! I am coming for you!

 

Looks great,

 

Big day tomorrow, boss, You fired up?

 

Yes, I am fired up,

 

- Debra?
- Yes,

 

Do you think I'm lovable?

 

Lovable?

 

Yeah, Yes, sure, very,

 

Frank?

 

I love you, That's all I know,

 

Okay, thanks, You can go,

 

Welcome! Welcome!
Welcome back, America!

 

- Boo!
- AUDIENCE: Boo!

 

I'm Martin Tweed
and I am so delighted to be back

 

with another exciting season
of American Dreamz,

 

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

 

We have some amazing dreamers
who are gonna perform for you tonight,

 

Some will triumph,
Some will sink back into obscurity,

 

Only one will become
America's newest sensation,

 

It's up to you, America,

 

Only you have the awesome power
to lift someone up into the heavens

 

and create a new star,

 

And here are your dreamers!

 

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Come on, watch your step! Watch your step!

 

Go, go, go, go! Come on, get on up there!

 

Let's go! Go! Move it out! Move it!

 

I'd like to dedicate this song
to a real American hero,

 

My boyfriend, William Williams,

 

He risked his life for our freedom,
and that's a real American dream,

 

(SINGING) Mommy, don't drink

 

Me to bed tonight

 

What's gotten into

 

Your head tonight?

 

Did I make you mad?

 

Is that why you're sad?

 

And, Daddy, where have

 

You been all my life?

 

Mommy said that

 

You got a new wife

 

And there's nothing to do

 

But I know that's not true

 

And there's no one to hold me

 

Close when I cry

 

To rock me so gentle

 

Till the storm passes by

 

And I'm just a kid

 

But I know it ain't right

 

So, Mommy, don't drink

 

Me to bed tonight

 

Sally,

 

I think you're terrific,

 

In fact, I think you have star quality,

 

Thank you, Mr, Tweed,

 

Sally Kendoo,

 

(SINGING) Girl, let's not be friends

 

'Cause we've shared too much

 

Girl, you know that
I'm yearning for your touch

 

'Cause I can't be less than your everything

 

'Cause I'll lay down and cry

 

I'll curl up and die

 

Don't let this be how my story ends

 

It's love or good-bye

 

So let's not be friends

 

(SINGING) I'm a rocking man

 

I'm a genuine rocking man

 

I'm a rock, rock, rock, rock, rock
Rocking man!

 

I'm a rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock

 

(SINGING) I never felt

 

This way

 

Before

 

(SINGING) Girl, you know I want you
I got a rocket launcher

 

So, baby, let's get raunchy tonight

 

CHORUS: Let's get raunchy tonight

 

I don't want to taunt you
Or take you out and flaunt you

 

So, baby, let's get raunchy, all right

 

CHORUS: Let's get raunchy, baby

 

Sholem,

 

I only have two words for you,

 

Mazel tov!

 

No, you were wonderful, Really, wonderful,

 

Good news, Pauly,
I don't want to be your friend,

 

In fact, you make me
want to projectile vomit,

 

Bobby, I think my ears are actually bleeding,
You are like a musical Ebola virus,

 

Cindy,

 

I'm afraid I have felt this way before,

 

And it was just before I tried to kill myself,
Sorry, love,

 

Sorry,

 

I hate you!

 

Nice girl, Cindy,

 

Here he is,

 

Fantastic, Omer,

 

- Don't clap,
- No, no, of course,

 

(SINGING) To dream

 

The impossible dream

 

To fight

 

The unbeatable foe

 

To bear

 

With unbearable sorrow

 

To run where the brave dare not go

 

What the hell is that?
He looks like he stepped on a scorpion,

 

This is my quest

 

To follow that star

 

No matter how hopeless

 

No matter how far

 

To fight for the right

 

Without question or pause

 

To be willing to march into hell

 

For a heavenly cause

 

Go, Omer, Go,

 

To reach the unreachable star

 

You have been Omerized! Pah!

 

Omer,

 

that was strange,

 

Strange,

 

but rather wonderful,

 

I think I have been Omerized,

 

I think I might be Omer-sexual,

 

Oh, my God!

 

Yes!

 

Oh, my God, Oh, my God,

 

Yes!

 

SALLY: (SINGING) They came on boats
From across the sea

 

From faraway places

 

And far distant lands

 

And still they come

 

To a place where they're free

 

They fly in on planes

 

With hope in their hands

 

Sometimes it feels

 

Like we're stuffed to the seams

 

But it's everyone's God-given right

 

To follow their dreams

 

CHORUS: My American dream

 

SALLY: Will come true for me

 

CHORUS: My American dream

 

SALLY: For all to see

 

Every woman and man

 

Has their own destiny

 

To dream American Dreamz

 

Dreamz with a Z

 

To dream American Dreamz

 

Dreamz with a Z

 

We began the show with 50 dreamers,

 

Now we're down to just three,

 

- Boo,
- AUDIENCE: Boo!

 

How are you doing?

 

You all right?

 

And the two finalists

 

will be revealed after this commercial break
brought to you by American Motors,

 

introducing "The Tank," 50% larger
than the next biggest SUV on the road,

 

because you need it,

 

STAGE MANAGER: And we're out! Come on,
people, Hair and makeup, let's go, let's go,

 

All right,
Give me some room over here, Travis,

 

Calm, calm, calm, calm,
Thank you, thank you very much,

 

Here you go,
And you're supposed to be drinking this,

 

- Must I?
- Contractually, yes,

 

- Your envelope,
- Thank you,

 

STAGE MANAGER: All right, let's wrap it up,
Let's get it started,

 

Let's get the chairs out, let's go,

 

Get the lead out, Big smiles, everyone,

 

Big smiles, And we're back, Three, two,

 

Excuse me, Delicious,
That's wildly refreshing,

 

And now, America, you have voted,

 

- Sholem Glickstein?
- Yeah,

 

You are

 

not a winner,

 

This week's winners who will move on
to the championship round

 

are Sally Kendoo and Omer Obeidi,
And don't forget,

 

on next week's finale, special guest judge,
the President,

 

Honey?

 

I have a confession to make,

 

I haven't been taking my happy pills,

 

Actually, I haven't been taking mine, either,

 

- But you don't seem sad,
- Well, I guess I'm not,

 

At first, those happy pills
really helped me a lot,

 

But, eventually, I think they were just
kind of like placebos,

 

Placebos? Aren't they illegal?

 

No, Poopie, It means fake,

 

Well, yeah,

 

Well,

 

You know,

 

I guess I kind of feel like I'm a placebo,

 

I mean, I've had speech writers

 

writing for me all my career,

 

and advisors telling me
what positions to take,

 

I can't even remember why I wanted
to get into politics to begin with,

 

I think it's 'cause my mom wanted me to,

 

Show my dad any idiot could do it,

 

Maybe I ought to just chuck the whole thing,
What do you think?

 

Starting with that American Dreamz deal,

 

Don't you say that,

 

Do you remember what I said
the first time I met you?

 

Yeah,

 

"Hey, jerk-off, you spilled your beer on me,"

 

After that,

 

When you went and got that towel

 

and borrowed that T-shirt
from one of your frat brothers for me,

 

I said, "Now that there is a good guy,"

 

And I still think so today,

 

So you just go on and be on that show,

 

And then, afterwards, we will tell Wally
no more earplugs, okay?

 

Well, how am I gonna know what to say?

 

Well, we will think of it together,

 

Mmm-hmm,

 

Look at this! "Omer Mania!"

 

"America's newest mascot, adorable,

 

"Omer Obeidi
has 'Omerized' the whole country,"

 

It should have been me,

 

I mean, great, Omer! They love you!

 

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

 

AGHA: Room service,

 

Hey, what are you gonna say
when you meet the President?

 

Sorry?

 

"Sorry?" Omer, you crack me up,

 

Okay, we got two orders
spicy tuna hand rolls,

 

a plate of fresh fruit
and some chimichangas,

 

Oh, you guys go ahead and start eating, I,,,

 

I have to go talk to the waiter in private
for a moment,

 

So,

 

You have become quite the famous man,

 

- You know why they vote for you?
- Because they like me?

 

(SCOFFS)

 

Because you are a figure of fun to them,

 

They see you prancing and singing
and they can forget the terrors

 

they've inflicted on our lands
with their soldiers and weapons,

 

It could be, Yes, I guess,

 

But I have to hand it to you,

 

You have put us in a wonderful position
to strike them a crippling blow,

 

About that crippling blow,

 

I really don't know
how I'm supposed to do it,

 

You see, really,
there is a lot of security there,

 

All you have to do is get me and the rest
of your brothers on the guest list

 

for the studio audience,

 

We will smuggle in the explosive device
in pieces, assemble it there,

 

and then you must only retrieve it

 

in the toilet-seat-cover dispenser
in the men's bathroom,

 

Then, when you meet the President

 

and shake his hand, live on television,

 

you will ignite the device,

 

And I will see you in paradise,

 

You will be killed, too?

 

Not yet, It's a pretty small bomb,

 

But I'll see you up there
in a few years, I'm sure,

 

So, I'm just curious,
How is this Martin Tweed in person?

 

(DOOR OPENS)

 

Sally, Sally, Sally, I am so proud of you,

 

I always knew you had a great voice
and now the whole world knows it, too,

 

William, no, no, I have not won yet,
Everybody seems to be forgetting that,

 

You know, folks,
they love that Middle Eastern guy,

 

They love you more,

 

They love us more, You know how many hits
we got on our website last night?

 

Sixteen million,

 

- Congratulations,
- Thank you,

 

God, William, You make me feel bad,
Why do you care so much about me?

 

Why?

 

Because, honey, you are my dream girl,

 

Yuck,

 

I can't stand looking
at those damn French fries anymore,

 

Just cover them up or something,

 

Sally Kendoo, I love you,

 

Okay? I love you,

 

I love how you binge eat
and then starve yourself,

 

I love how pretty you sing,
whether it's in the shower

 

or in front of millions of TV viewers,

 

I look at you and I see that same girl
that I fell in love with in high school,

 

And I'd like to know, right here and now,

 

if you'd help to make my dream come true
and marry me?

 

Oh, my God,

 

Oh, my Lord,

 

Hold it right there! Nobody move,

 

- Chet, what are you doing?
- I'm calling the camera crew,

 

No, you're not, Put the phone down, Chet,

 

- Chet, put the phone down right now!
- Chet, put the phone down!

 

What, are you kidding me?
This is great stuff,

 

- And, William, stand up, please,
- But,,,

 

Stand up,

 

Now, please understand,
I am so touched by your proposal

 

and the sweet things
that you just said to me, but,,,

 

Right now is a really bad time,

 

Do it on the show!

 

- On the show?
- Absolutely,

 

That's a great idea,

 

- Really?
- CHET: Yes,

 

And do that thing about how
every time you look at her

 

you see the same girl
you fell in love with in high school,

 

- What, you were listening?
- I'm in the other room, man, so, yes,

 

And you, Hey, you!
Are you still into winning this thing?

 

Because this is what we in the biz call
"incredible television,"

 

People are going to be
in their living rooms, sobbing,

 

Then they're gonna be
crawling over each other

 

trying to get to the phone
so they can call up and vote for you!

 

Well, I'm up for it if you are, Sally,

 

Yes! This guy!

 

We are gonna get into this
with the producers,

 

Can I see that ring for a second?

 

Wow, that's great,

 

We're gonna get a bigger one
so that it plays on TV,

 

but there is nothing wrong with that ring,

 

Now, here's what I'm thinking, okay?

 

It's gonna be a special
built around the wedding,

 

- Do you sing at all, William?
- I can sing a little bit,

 

I thought you could sing a little bit,

 

I think we're gonna call it
"Sally and William, sealed with a kiss,"

 

- What do you think about that?
- I love that,

 

Yeah, I think everyone's gonna love that,

 

Hey, Omer?

 

Can I buy you a beer?

 

Oh, no, no, no, no, I do not drink,
But thank you,

 

Hey, do you ever wonder why you're doing
this whole competition thing for?

 

Only every day,

 

But then I think of my mother,

 

She loved all types of singing,

 

It keeps me going on,

 

When I was 10 years old,

 

I weighed 200 pounds,

 

- That is large,
- Yeah,

 

And I told myself I would lose 90 pounds
by the time I turned 14 or I would kill myself,

 

So I lost the weight,

 

And,,,

 

I suddenly was really popular,

 

I had a whole new group of friends,
I had this cute boyfriend,

 

Even my teachers liked me better,

 

And my mom and I
walked around the entire house

 

collecting all the pictures of me
when I was fat and burned them,

 

I love my mom,

 

So,

 

Good luck tomorrow,

 

Thank you,

 

Sorry I'm gonna have to destroy you,

 

Here is your chewing gum,

 

Remember, no blowing bubbles,

 

Is this really necessary?

 

Just a little bit higher, Oh, that's good,

 

Yeah, that's beautiful,
Give me a little bit more in here,

 

Take my moustache down a little bit, too,

 

SHAZZY: My cousin's gonna be in the finale,

 

- William?
- Yeah, yeah,

 

Okay, Omer's gonna go on first,

 

Then after Sally is done,
we're gonna hit you with a spotlight,

 

Then you're gonna go onstage
and do your proposal,

 

- Got it?
- Got it,

 

- All right,
- It's happening,

 

She's very excited,

 

It's a joyful moment, Joyful,

 

- Hi, Tweedy,
- Hi, Sally,

 

Just wanted to say good luck tonight,

 

Thank you,

 

Could you just give us
a quick second, please?

 

- Sure, no problem,
- Thank you,

 

So,

 

I think you're going to win,

 

Novelty contestants
never win the whole thing,

 

- That's why I've been helping him along,
- Thank you,

 

Hey, is something wrong?

 

No,

 

I mean, nothing beyond
the usual creeping dread,

 

All right, Well,
I'm sure you know at this point

 

that William is supposed to propose to me
on tonight's show,

 

Yeah,

 

Do you think it's bad of me to accept
a proposal from a man I don't love

 

in order to manipulate
people into voting for me?

 

"Bad," Such a nebulous word, isn't it?

 

You know what I think?
I think everyone wants something,

 

William wants you,

 

Why? Because he has this idea in his head
of what you are,

 

I don't think he cares if it's true or not,
just so long as he keeps his fantasy alive,

 

So I think he deserves what he gets,

 

- He deserves to be miserable?
- Why not?

 

You are, aren't you?

 

Despite your newfound fame and adulation?

 

Tweedy,

 

I sometimes feel like you're the only person
in the whole world who really gets me,

 

Yeah,

 

Sometimes I look at you
and I see my own reflection,

 

It's revolting,

 

And attractive,

 

Martin,

 

I'm not physically attracted to other people,
but if you want me,

 

I'm yours,

 

The problem is I find that whenever
I become intimately involved

 

with a woman I admire,

 

it rapidly degenerates into mutual loathing,

 

I don't want that to happen to us,

 

Having said that,,,

 

Omer, are you okay?

 

Great, Great, Just a little nervous, I guess,

 

- I just feel confused,
- About what?

 

About this country,

 

You know, there are
so many nice people here,

 

but it does so much harm in the world,

 

So?

 

So, to what degree is this country
culpable for its actions?

 

Are Americans to blame for America?
And beyond that,

 

can causing someone else to suffer
ever truly ease one's own suffering?

 

Omer! You're wigging out,
That bitch deserves to suffer!

 

What bitch?

 

Sally! Who are you talking about?

 

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

 

15 minutes, Omer,

 

(SIGHING)

 

Well, see, I think the dress works
'cause it flows nice,

 

The dress is gonna be a hit,

 

Hey, I'm gonna go run lines with Sally,

 

- Well, don't be long,
- Okay,

 

Yeah,

 

Mr, President,
it's such an honor to have you here,

 

Happy to be here,

 

"Press here to explode yourself,"

 

Where's Martin? Where the hell is Martin?
Has anybody seen Martin?

 

- He's in there,
- What the hell is he doing in there?

 

- What are you doing?
- This isn't pretty,

 

What?

 

- That's Sally and Mr, Tweed?
- Yep,

 

- Are you seeing anybody?
- What?

 

It looks so much bigger on TV,

 

Hey, watch my foot, huh?

 

- So, do you feel filthy?
- Not really,

 

How do you feel?

 

It's weird,

 

- I don't actually loathe you,
- You, either,

 

Right, The President here yet?

 

ANNOUNCER: Yeah!
How you doing, everybody?

 

How many Omer fans
do I have with me tonight?

 

Yeah!

 

And how many Sally fans do I have?
She can hear you in the back!

 

ANNOUNCER: And now your host,
Martin Tweed!

 

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

 

That's Martin Tweed,

 

You're looking very good, sir, Very good,

 

Welcome, America,

 

Welcome, world, Welcome, everyone else,

 

- Boo!
- AUDIENCE: Boo!

 

We've been through so much together,

 

We've laughed, We've cried,
We've formed attachments,

 

And now, we're down to just two,

 

And to help me help you judge tonight,

 

we're welcoming a very special guest,

 

The President of this great country,

 

President Joseph Staton!

 

Thanks for having me on your show,

 

So,

 

What do you think of these
two great contestants, Mr, President?

 

I think they exhibit
what's best about America,

 

- The spirit of resolve,,,
- The spirit of resolve

 

that makes this
the greatest country in the world,

 

They know what they want,,,

 

They know what they want
and they go out and get it,

 

All right,

 

- I'll be right back!
- Omer! Where are you going?

 

(STATIC BUZZING)

 

Where's that interference coming from?

 

Turn that frigging thing off!

 

And turn that frigging thing off!

 

Oh!

 

Okay, Okay,

 

America, Mr, President,

 

without further ado, let me introduce
America's favorite Middle Eastern import,

 

Omer Obeidi!

 

Where the hell is he?

 

- I don't know where he is,,,
- I'm going on!

 

(STATIC BUZZING)

 

SHAZZY: Go, Omer!

 

My wife loves this guy,

 

(SINGING) And now the end is near

 

That's a bad call, That's Frank's song,
People aren't gonna respond to that,

 

Bold choice of song,

 

My friends

 

I'll say it clear

 

I'll state my case

 

Of which I'm certain

 

I've lived a life that's full

 

I've traveled each

 

And every highway

 

But more, much more than this

 

(STATIC BUZZING)

 

I did it

 

My way

 

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

 

I've had my fill

 

Mr, President, what are you doing?

 

My share of losing

 

I'm getting a lot of feedback in this thing,

 

And now, as tears subside

 

I find it all

 

So amusing

 

To think

 

I did all that

 

And may I say

 

Not in a shy way

 

Oh, no

 

Oh, no, not me

 

I did it

 

My way

 

For what is a man?

 

What has he got?

 

If not himself

 

then he has naught

 

William Williams, you're a moron,

 

A moron, You stupid moron! Stupid moron!

 

And not the words

 

Of one who kneels

 

The record shows

 

I took the blows

 

And did it

 

My way

 

I love you, Mom,

 

He nailed it!

 

That's my cousin!

 

(STATIC BUZZING)

 

We're gonna stand up,

 

Omer, meet the President,

 

OMER: Nice to meet you, sir,

 

He's talking to him,

 

What'd you think of Omer tonight,
Mr, President?

 

What did I think?

 

Mr, President?

 

What did I think?

 

Mr, President? Can you read me?

 

I think

 

I liked you,

 

Thank you, sir,

 

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

 

Go ahead,

 

Do it!

 

And I just want to say,

 

in terms of the Middle East,

 

that it looks like the problems over there
are never going to be solved,

 

What?

 

I mean never,

 

Never, never, never, never, never,

 

And so,

 

I'm sorry about that,

 

What the hell was that? I never said that!

 

Oh, Poopie,

 

Mr, President?

 

I deeply hope,

 

for all of our sakes,

 

that you are wrong,

 

I hope so, too,

 

Nice singing,

 

Well,,,

 

On a brighter note,

 

we'll be back after a short break
with the enchanting Sally Kendoo,

 

And then you all will decide
who is the winner of American Dreamz,

 

That's it! Show is over!

 

What are you talking about?
There's another contestant,

 

Sorry, I'm taking my guy out!

 

Your guy, your guy just went
way off reservation!

 

Talk about depressing,
Half the audience want to shoot themselves!

 

And you, sir, are no Oprah!

 

I'd kind of like to see how Sally does,

 

All right, you, Where is the you-know-what?

 

STAGE MANAGER: And we're back
in three, two,

 

Get off the stage! Get off the stage!

 

We're back!

 

And now all the way from Padookie, Ohio,

 

America's newest sweetheart, Sally Kendoo!

 

Where the hell is William?
He's supposed to be up here,

 

I would like to dedicate this song
to someone very special in the audience,

 

my boyfriend,

 

William Williams!

 

What? No!

 

No, he's supposed to propose
after she sings!

 

- He's an idiot!
- Yeah,

 

Excuse me a moment,
This moron's missed his cue,

 

Let's all welcome Sally's sweetheart,

 

Decorated war veteran, William Williams!

 

I think, perhaps, William has something
he wants to ask Sally,

 

Sally?

 

Yes, William?

 

How could you do this to me?

 

How could I do what to you?

 

How could you sleep with Mr, Tweed?

 

(AUDIENCE GASPING)

 

Whoa!

 

- Boo!
- AUDIENCE: Boo!

 

I'm serious,

 

Well, seriously, William,

 

I think it's common knowledge
I would never ever, ever, ever

 

sleep with a contestant
on American Dreamz,

 

I saw you through the keyhole,

 

He nailed her?

 

I guess you two think I'm stupid,

 

I guess you all think I'm stupid,

 

Well, I'll show you how stupid I am,

 

I'm going to blow myself up
with this bomb I found,

 

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

 

William, don't joke around
about something like that,

 

Oh, I am not joking!

 

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)

 

What the fuck?

 

Great idea! On-air proposal, Chet Krogl!

 

Keep rolling! Keep rolling!

 

Get back to your camera!
Get back to your camera!

 

Come back! Come back!

 

MARTIN: Get back to that camera!

 

Oh, no,

 

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

 

Mr, Williams?

 

Mr, Williams, do not do this,
It is not worth it,

 

Your death will not solve any problems,

 

lt'll solve the problem
of me feeling miserable,

 

William? I'm the President,

 

I know who you are, sir,

 

Now, as your Commander in Chief,

 

I'm gonna have to ask you
not to blow yourself up,

 

Now, I've had dark days myself, William,

 

Days where I just wanted to lie in bed
and dream,

 

Never get up,

 

But I have come to think

 

that it is better to deal with reality,

 

no matter how unpleasant it is,

 

That's my guy,

 

No disrespect, sir,

 

But if I can't have Sally Kendoo
then I don't want to go on living,

 

(AUDIENCE CLAMORING)

 

William, wait,,,

 

Stay there! Stay there!

 

(SINGING) My American dream

 

Will come true for me

 

My American dream

 

For all to see

 

William! In here,

 

Every woman and man

 

Has their own destiny

 

To dream American Dreamz

 

Dreamz with a Z

 

To dream American Dreamz

 

Dreamz with a Z

 

To dream American Dreamz

 

Dreamz with a Z

 

(STATIC BUZZING)

 

(EXPLOSION)

 

What happened?

 

Yes! Yes! Yes!

 

You won this thing, You won it,

 

SHAZZY: Where are you going?

 

Listen, those three gentlemen right there,
They were the ones with the bombs,

 

OMER: You see? Back there, those three,
They were the ones with the bomb,

 

Go!

 

Mr, President! Stop! Stop!

 

All right, everyone, please, Please, shut up,

 

It's starting,

 

SALLY: Last season's finale was
the highest-rated show in television history,

 

as my boyfriend, William Williams,

 

suffering from hallucinations
caused by posttraumatic stress

 

tragically lost his life,

 

There was a silver lining, though,

 

as he was voted the surprise winner
of American Dreamz,

 

I know he would have been so thrilled,

 

Fellow runner-up, Omer Obeidi,

 

has been touring the country
with a repertory of Broadway hits,

 

(SINGING) Go, Greased Lightning
You're burning up the quarter mile

 

CHORUS: Greased Lighting
Go, Greased Lighting

 

IQBAL: Stop! Stop! Stop!

 

This isn't a hoedown!

 

SALLY: Special guest judge,
President Staton,

 

recently returned
from a Mid-East fact-finding tour

 

with his new Chief of Staff,

 

You choose first, Poopie,

 

(SIGHING)

 

I guess I'll go for the newspapers first,

 

You take the intelligence reports
and summit briefing and then we'll switch,

 

SALLY: And I have
some pretty big shoes to fill,

 

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

 

Welcome!

 

Welcome back to another season
of American Dreamz,

 

I am so excited to be your new host,
it's such a dream come true for me,

 

And I'd like to dedicate this season
to someone who was very special to us all,

 

The great Mr, Martin Tweed,

 

(AUDIENCE SIGHING)

 

We will miss you so very much,

 

But now, on to an exciting new season!

 

And here are your dreamers!

 

(DREAMZ WITH A Z PLAYING)